My Greatest Battle by Justin Countryman
Some little while ago, I gazed into my soul;
Only to find in me, and a “me-shaped” hole;
Try as I might, I could not pretend;
That my life would not have, the forever expected end;
Looking further down my line, all I could see was hell;
I tried living backwards, though harder each time I fell;
I watched it all go…everything I had built;
Walked right out my door, leaving me with my guilt;
I could not find the strength, to die to those outside;
Even though my death inside, I had long tried to hide;
Weak and helpless, pitiful and worn;
Every move I made only kept me forlorn;
To walk through this life, with the steps of the dead;
Is the final result of letting Satan share your bed.
All hope was lost, nowhere could it be found;
Understood I this then: I was who I had bound;
The shame was so great there could not have been more;
And that’s when I heard, the knock at the door…
“I am the One that gives rest to the weak;
For I am the One, of Whom all men do seek;
I cannot be found in pleasures and games,
But nearest I am, through struggles and pains.
For My blood was shed, once and for all,
To break the curse of that death dealing Fall.
If you want life, you must come to Me;
At the foot of the cross, where I will set you free.
To live on your own, is to live in your sin,
For without Me inside, you have nothing within;
Save for a hole shaped like you,
For which accounts are past due.
Reach out to Me, and I will take your hands;
For I alone, am the One who stands.”
I fell to my knees, and I opened my heart;
With each tear that fell, I felt sin depart;
I was washed in the blood, that He so preciously shed;
Even though I deserved the noose around my head;
I was the one who wove the crown of thorns…
It was no accident that my shadow had horns.
I spit in His face, and laughed at His pain;
Because I thought the world, was what I’s to gain.
When I understood it was me that He died for;
Mercy and grace, rushed through me once more…
He gave up His life to pay my sin debt;
The King of kings is who I had met.
He reached inside me, into that dark hole;
He replaced the Truth which the devil had stole;
The Spirit came in, cleansed and repaired;
Now I know this: my life has been spared.
A love like this cannot be forgot;
For if it can, then you knew Him not.
We all struggle and we all fall,
God’s mercy is enough, to go through it all.
If you find yourself in the desert alone,
Just remember one thing: this is not your home;
A place is prepared, for all who are willing;
To submit to God, and let Him keep killing;
The ugliness inside, of which have we all;
And let God redeem, the effects of the Fall.
I now stand together with the One who was slain,
New hopes and new dreams have replaced all the pain.
Even though there are times, when I feel like giving up,
Remember Jesus said, “Who can drink from this cup?”
Trials and fires, necessary they surely are,
For without them, one cannot get far.
I love thee Lord Jesus, who saved me from hell;
And of Your great mercy, I forever will tell.
There’s power in the blood, of that I am certain;
And I will stand firm, until He draws the curtain;
For it is not by my strength, or make-believe power,
But by His Spirit, that I’m alive at this hour.
I thank thee Lord, for all You have done,
For my greatest battle, You’ve already won.